Moving

Holy crap has it been a long time since I’ve posted on here last! So an update, I no longer live in Northern New York. I moved out to the buffalo area about a year ago, and I just got an apartment with my a roommate and my fiancé. All was going well until…tonight.

So he has to be up at 3:50 to be to work at 5. So he was already in bed and I was watching TV. As the time came near for me to go to bed as well, he was upset and homesick. Now I know all about homesickness. I’ve gone through it before, but I went through it alone. People would tell me, “now you don’t have to say goodbye anymore.” More backstory, my fiancé and I did long distance for three years. Fast forward to now, he thinks I’m annoyed with him because I distinctly remember him telling me that. We only moved twenty minutes away from his mother’s house so it’s not like we can’t go and visit.

I offered to have my parents bring my bed down so we can have it there in case he wants to stay the night but that’s counter active to trying to get over homesickness. I don’t know. I’m not an empathetic person whatsoever, but now he’s upset with me and I don’t know what to do anymore. Nothing I says helps him at all, and it doesn’t seem like he wants my company now.

The Importance of Communicating

I don’t vent a lot. I tend to keep things bottled up inside and let others vent to me. I learned the importance of that last night and throughout the day today. I kept things bottled up inside for so long that I blew up on my fiance and completely hurt him to the point where he doesn’t even want to really talk.

What were we fighting about you may ask. I recently got employed at a local credit union, which is perfect because I’m getting my B.S. in small business management and entrepreneurship. I’m 21 years old, no degree yet and my career has already started. I was looking to move in with him about 242 miles away. The issue I was having was I couldn’t see myself leaving a job that could possibly turn into a short term career. I think that it would be perfect for him to move in and get an apartment with me up here. I was pushy. I was trying to get an answer almost immediately. I never looked at things from his perspective. Simply uprooting your life and placing yourself somewhere else is not an easy thing to do. You have save up enough so you have a safety net, finding a new job of equal or better pay, finding a place to live, etc.

I kept thinking about this for weeks but never brought it up to him based on fear of what he might think or say. We had it almost set in stone that I was going uproot myself from what I know and move 242 miles away from my career and start all over again. I never really thought that he would be doing the exact same thing. He would have to find a new job and do exactly what I was planning to do in six months.

All day today we have been completely distant, and it is really heart breaking. All I want to do is just hold him and make everything just stop in it’s place. It took a little bit of time but I realized the importance of communicating instead of just coming up with an idea, and hoping that your significant other will be okay with it.